Monster
by Princess seven
Summary: Being Kyle Broflovski is hard. Being Eric Cartman is harder. Being Eric Cartman's best friend and potential lover is the worst.
1. Chapter 1

I was studying again. It's what I did every day, that's how I even spent my weekends. If I didn't, I'd have to listen to criticism from my mother, who thought Ike was better then I was.  
Which he probably was.  
But I tried even harder, bringing my once straight A's to a steady stream of A+ papers. She was seemingly pleased. Gerald, my father, was a little less caring. He divorced my mother when I was thirteen (four years ago) and I held a grudge when he re-married and had another son. But that never stopped me from going to his house and trashing things. Or putting kool-aid in the shower head (and he'll never know!) His wife was younger and a little naïve, which I used to my advantage. Ike never wanted to see Gerald, in fact, he was rarely home. He did his chores and homework, then left to be with a friend (who's name i don't recall.)

Despite my bookworm attitude, I spent a lot of time with the group - Stan, Kenny, and Eric Cartman. Stan was my super best friend, the one person who I wasted my time texting and calling. Kenny was like a brother. He spent a lot of time over, loved my mom and her cooking, and even helped with chores. He was overly grateful, considering his home was in shambles.

Eric Cartmen, to me, was close to nothing. He was my bully, my tormentor, but we were close. As in i stayed close to him because I think I loved him close.

Stan grew his hair out and joined the football team. Kenny was taking business courses so he could learn to make good money and support his family. Cartman kept his life a secret from us. He lost a lot of weight, but really was broad and big-boned. He was probably 6'5 now, and the most intimidating in our little group.

We were all growing up, and growing a lot closer every day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Fucking Jew! What're you doing here?"  
Honestly, if he never said that, we'd be fine. Kosher even. "What do you mean, fatass?" I asked, clenching my fists. "This is Starks Pond. I'm allowed to be here."  
Cartman seemed to ponder this, putting his finger to his chin. "Nobody parted the water for you to cross."  
"Screw you," was all I felt like muttering.  
Stan, Kenny, Cartman, and I were all sitting on the cool rocks at the pond's edge. It was late August, but in South Park, the weather was barely warm. We all could wear our long sleeved T's comfortably. Stan smiled and threw a rock. "So Wendy's been talking about...you know."  
"Fucking?" Kenny looked up with bright eyes.  
"Dude!" Stan shouted, "no! Well, yeah kinda."

Cartman's perfect mouth fell agape. "Stan? Sex? No. That's not even possible."  
The rage from his last comment built up in my chest. "Stan can get laid!"  
"Whatever," Stan muttered. Continuing, he said, "anyway, her parents are leaving this weekend and she wants me over." He grinned proudly and looked my way. "Cool, huh, Kyle?"

"Yeah!" I agreed. Sex was meaningless to me, but I wasn't going to admit that to them. "Seriously gonna go through with it?"  
Kenny bit his lip. "Need a camera man?"  
Stan flashed the bird to our blonde friend and shook his head.

Kenny sighed and dipped his feet in the pond. "Nobody ever wants a camera man..."

Cartman started laughing loudly, his chest shaking. I sighed. Laying on the grass, I said, "I think you should do it. You've only been dating since fourth grade."  
Stan nodded and we were quiet for a while. "Nice weather, haha."  
We agreed. Cartman pulled off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair.  
I felt my cheeks heat up. Cartman was really attractive... He made me feel special when he looked my way. In excitement, I shouted,  
"fatass!"  
He glared at me and through his hat down. "What, fag?"  
I smiled and lunged for his hat. "Catch me."

"That hat is practically worth nothing, stingy Jew!" He shouted.  
Grinning like a madman, I started jogging. "You're mom's a poor crack whore!"  
"What!" He cried. Cartman started walking faster. "Who the hell do you think you are!"  
"You're doom," I replied in a deep voice.  
"What the fuck?" Stan yelled.  
I saw Cartman running and I gasped. "Fat prick!"  
"Jew rat!" I don't know, but I think I saw a gleam of joy in his eyes.  
Turning, I ran full speed. I was laughing and my heart beating fast. Cartman, oh Cartman...  
Suddenly I was tackled to the ground. "Gimme that hat!" Cartman pinned me on back. He leaned close. "Before I hit you."  
"Do it," I whispered.  
His fist collided with my nose and I felt regret in chest. "Don't cross me, faggot." He grabbed his hat and got off of me.  
"Ow! What the FUCK, Cartman!" I reached for my nose and felt blood. "Did...did you break my nose?"  
He shrugged and held out a hand. "Get up, fairy."  
I took his hand and felt electricity burn my palm. "I hate you." I said. "I hate you too." Cartman pulled his lips into a smile. "Jew."  
"Fat ass."

I hated him so much. But i wanted him so bad. Stan and Kenny came after us. "Dude! Your nose!" I clutched my nose in pain. "Ow!"  
"You said that," Cartman announced. "Is it hurting badly?"  
"Probably!" Kenny shouted, stepping forward and placing a hand over my cheek. "Douche!"  
"It's okay," removing my hand, I let Kenny see my nose.  
Stan and Kenny gasped. Cartman looked away. "You shouldn't have asked to get hit."  
"I didn't ask, Cartman!" I shouted. My nose was burning.  
"Let's just get to the hospital," Stan suggested.  
"Fine," I growled.  
Despite having a broken nose, I was excited. Cartman noticed me.


End file.
